OVERLOOKING THE POND

The Lawn  |  Climate Clash  |  Cultural Void

"CLIMATE CLASH"
Written by
Jim Mendrinos

There is a constant battle in my home. Not nearly as important or grand as the average war, but just as fiercely fought. It is the battle for the control of the thermostat.

My wife calls me frosty because I like the house to be cooler. She likes to keep our home in sauna like conditions so I call her crazy. It seems if we'll never come to agreement over this issue.

And it's not just limited to our home. When we go out we check the weather. We both see the same forecast. We both hear the same number. However our reactions could not be more diverse.
I hear a temperature of 75 and I think it's time to switch to short sleeve shirts. She hears seventy-five and packs a sweater. If opposites attract, we're made for each other.

We try to compromise. We had a plan. Winter time she'd control the thermostat, summer time I'd get it. What I didn't realize was that summer didn't officially start until the temperature hit 90.
Then we decided to divide the property. I'd control the thermostat in my 10 by 6 office, and she'd get the rest of the house. We put an AC in my office window. She kept the rest of the house at a cool 80 degrees. I kept my office at 45 degrees. Whenever I opened my door a cold front wafted out of my room and hit a warm front causing a dip in the barometric pressure and we'd have clouds and rain in our hallway.

About the only place I am the king of the thermostat is my car. I crank the AC up and never let it dip. Last summer I spent more nights in my car then I did in bed. Yes, sir, I am the king of the thermostat in my car.

Unless my wife is in the passenger seat. Then she gets her way. I'll give her credit, she never asks me to turn down the AC. She just hints. Subtle things like shivering. Or Teeth chattering. Sometimes she wears a parka.

Sometimes when she comes out of the bedroom, dressed for an evening out, complete with a sweater and a light jacket, and she sees me standing in shorts and a short sleeve shirt, she shakes her head. She shakes her head and says, "We should have dated longer. This should have come up in the dating process." Then she gives me a sly smile that tells me that it doesn't really matter to her. The temperature is just another battle that we work through as we go through life together. What's important is that we love each other, which we do.

And by loving each other we know that we've already won the war.